{"id":5878,"date":"2019-12-06T08:55:00","date_gmt":"2019-12-06T07:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/voxvigor.se\/?p=5878"},"modified":"2019-12-06T08:55:00","modified_gmt":"2019-12-06T07:55:00","slug":"en-bipolar-vardag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/voxvigor.se\/bricks-staging\/en-bipolar-vardag\/","title":{"rendered":"En bipol\u00e4r vardag"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201dFredagsmys\u201d<\/strong>
Uppe sen 04 \u2026.
Varf\u00f6r d\u00e5 ?!?
Annars vore det inte s\u00e5.
Ganska rofylld.
Ingen br\u00e5dska.
\u00c4n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Snart vaknar v\u00e4rlden.<\/strong>
D\u00e5 blir det br\u00e5ttom igen.
Tystnaden bryts.
Lugnet tar fart.
Dagen b\u00f6rjar med en rivstart.
Stressen kryper till mitt br\u00f6st.
Lugn! ropar en inre r\u00f6st.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag hinner inte.<\/strong>
Hinner inte h\u00f6ra.
Trafiken omkring mej sluter till mitt \u00f6ra.
Jag g\u00e5r tills benhinnorna v\u00e4rker.
Men jag g\u00e5r emot sm\u00e4rtan fram.
Jag m\u00e5ste med bussen.
Det \u00e4r morgonskjutsen.
St\u00e5r som ett f\u00e5n och v\u00e4ntar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag har sprungit i on\u00f6dan.<\/strong>
Alldeles f\u00f6r tidigt st\u00e5r jag ute i regnet.
Igen.
Stressat och skyndat av bara farten.
Irriterad.
Det k\u00e4nns on\u00f6digt att v\u00e4nta.
Sl\u00f6seri med tiden.
Hade ju kunnat hinna mer.
M\u00e5sten \u00e4r allt jag ser \u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vilken framtid!<\/strong>
Men jag blir glad n\u00e4r jag ser den gr\u00f6na bussen
sv\u00e4nga fram runt h\u00f6rnet mot mej.
Jag enkelt komplicerade tjej.
Glad att efter en tid i kylan f\u00e5 s\u00e4tta mej ner.
S\u00e5 jag m\u00e4rker hur jag f\u00e5nigt sm\u00e5ler.
Hinner knappt till s\u00e4tet f\u00f6rr\u00e4n bussen k\u00f6r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e4drans vad det g\u00e5r undan idag.<\/strong>
L\u00e5tsas upptagen med telefon (FB \u00e4r d\u00f6viktigt)
Livr\u00e4dd att beh\u00f6va vara social.
Tittar ner.
G\u00f6r mej osynlig.
Och det funkar f\u00f6r alla andra g\u00f6r likadant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi medresen\u00e4rer i livet.<\/strong>
K\u00e4nns lite \u00f6vergivet.
\u00d6verdrivet.
S\u00e5 vem ska ta f\u00f6rsta klivet ?
Jag tar det.
Fort av bussen och vidare iv\u00e4g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Upp f\u00f6r backen till ing\u00e5ng 10 p\u00e5 Ackis.<\/strong>
Med huvudet s\u00e4nkt och raska steg.
Jag n\u00e4stan snubblar in bland glasd\u00f6rrarna.
Uppf\u00f6r rulltrappan.
M\u00e5ste \u00e4nd\u00e5 heja p\u00e5 henne i receptionen.
Hon g\u00f6r mej alltid glad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sen vidare upp i hissen.<\/strong>
T\u00e4nk om n\u00e5n mer \u00e5ker med!!!
Panik.
S\u00e5 telefonen blir en utm\u00e4rkt hideaway igen.
En trofast f\u00f6ljeslagare och v\u00e4n.
Andas.
Jag f\u00e5r inte gl\u00f6mma att andas ox\u00e5.
Fort ut genom hissd\u00f6rrarna och \u00f6ver den f\u00f6rbannade bryggan med glasv\u00e4ggar.
K\u00f6 \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sj\u00e4lvklart \u00e4r det k\u00f6 idag till att f\u00e5 komma in.<\/strong>
Systemet ska v\u00e4rna om v\u00e5r sekretess.
Jag blir s\u00e5 f\u00f6rbannat tr\u00f6tt och less!
I v\u00e4ntan p\u00e5 insl\u00e4pp har m\u00e5nga f\u00e5tt ny kontakt.
Vi har ju \u00e4nd\u00e5 r\u00e4tt mycket gemensamt.
I k\u00f6n p\u00e5 \u00f6ppenv\u00e5rden 4 beroendemottagningen.
Det \u00e4r en sluss till receptionen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sekretessen \u00e4r bra.<\/strong>
Den h\u00f6rs \u00e4nda ut i korridoren.
\u00c4ntligen min tur.
Det k\u00e4nns bara s\u00e5 on\u00f6digt.
S\u00e5 tjatigt.
Samma lika tv\u00e5 g\u00e5nger i veckan.
Inga nyheter.
Inga hemligheter.
L\u00f6pande band p\u00e5 k\u00f6lapparna.
En i taget.
F\u00f6r sekretessen.
P\u00e5 v\u00e4ggen sitter nummertavlorna som avsl\u00f6jar v\u00e5ra \u00e4renden \u00e4nd\u00e5.
Vilket snille som t\u00e4nkte till h\u00e4r d\u00e5 \u2026
Suck.
F\u00f6r egen del spelar det ingen roll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi sitter alla i samma b\u00e5t.<\/strong>
N\u00e5nstans.
Snart min tur.
Och sen fort iv\u00e4g igen.
Jag skulle varit p\u00e5 min behandlingspraktik f\u00f6r n\u00e5n minut sen.
Fast jag knappt hunnit andas har tiden rusat.
Andf\u00e5dd.
Ont i br\u00f6stet.
Det k\u00e4nns i benen att springa uppf\u00f6r d\u00f6dens backe till en annan bussplats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Och d\u00e4r ser jag bussen \u00e5ka precis.<\/strong>
Ante mej.
SMS:ar att jag blir sen.
Och det \u00e4r ingen fara.
\u00c4nd\u00e5 kan jag inte slappna av.
Jag kanske har f\u00f6r h\u00f6ga krav.
Klockan \u00e4r lite drygt 8:30 n\u00e4r detta beges.
Det \u00e4r ett marathon att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka passa bussar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En brottningsmatch runt urtavlan.<\/strong>
Ett kinaschack med sjukhuset.
Och ett stort j\u00e4vla monopol med krav och regler som kr\u00e4ver min n\u00e4rvaro.
Men det \u00e4r min tillvaro.
Och det \u00e4r s\u00e5 h\u00e4r just nu.
Snart helg.
Lika stressig sen, fast utan tider att passa.
Suckar djupt och undrar – varf\u00f6r?
D\u00e4rf\u00f6r!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Text: <\/strong>Ylva Kristina Larsson
Foto: <\/strong>Monica Atterberg<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201dFredagsmys\u201dUppe sen 04 \u2026.Varf\u00f6r d\u00e5 ?!?Annars vore det inte s\u00e5.Ganska rofylld.Ingen br\u00e5dska.\u00c4n. Snart vaknar v\u00e4rlden.D\u00e5 blir det br\u00e5ttom igen.Tystnaden bryts.Lugnet tar fart.Dagen b\u00f6rjar med en rivstart.Stressen kryper till mitt br\u00f6st.Lugn! […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":5434,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEn bipol\u00e4r vardag - Bricks staging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/voxvigor.se\/bricks-staging\/en-bipolar-vardag\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sv_SE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"En bipol\u00e4r vardag - Bricks staging\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201dFredagsmys\u201dUppe sen 04 \u2026.Varf\u00f6r d\u00e5 ?!?Annars vore det inte s\u00e5.Ganska rofylld.Ingen br\u00e5dska.\u00c4n. 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